And the winner is...

Today was Iron Chef at Animal Rights Coalition. I worked really hard all week, spent an outrageous amount of money, and ended up making The Beast. Some of you may remember that I've made it before, and it has always been a hit at Thanksgiving dinner. It turned out to be even more delicious with the addition of a vanilla-cardamom cranberries layer. Those who have experienced the Beast had plenty of helpings, which (almost) made up for the fact that none of my friends showed up. I'm not too worried about being all sour grapes about it on here, because none of them read my blog either. I need new friends.

So, I forgot my camera, but got a few shots with my shitty phone.

A blown circuit made the crockpot pointless, but despite being lukewarm, I ran out of extra gravy pretty fast. Well, and people were doing shots of it.

So, who won? My girl Kaylyn!!! I became her vegan mentor a ways back, and have watched her grow into a beautiful vegan flower. So proud of you!

Now, since you're all dying for the recipe...

The Beast
makes one deep dish 9x9" casserole, or one 9x13" (single layer)

Gravy:
1 tbsp olive oil
2 tsp margarine
1 tbsp cornstarch
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp dried rubbed sage
couple dashes white pepper
1/2 tsp granulated onion, or toasted dried onion
1/2 tsp granulated garlic
1 can pumpkin puree
2 or more cups vegetable broth
salt, to taste

Whisk the oil, margarine, and cornstarch into a roux over low heat. Add everything else, and slowly pour in the broth, stirring, until thickened and the consistency you want. Remove from heat. Salt to taste.

Potatoes:
3 or 4 medium yukon gold potatoes, peeled and diced
1 tbsp margarine
unsweetened plain non-dairy milk
roasted garlic, if desired
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tsp dried rosemary

Boil the potatoes until fork-tender. Pass through a ricer or use a masher like this one so you don't get gummy potatoes (I also like it a little chunky). Stir in margarine until melted. Slowly add milk, whipping the potatoes to a spreadable consistency. Add some garlic, and rosemary. Stir.

Stuffing:
1/2 of a 12-oz bag bread cubes for stuffing (I mixed sage & onion with cornbread), or homemade 
2 tbsp margarine
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 cup chopped celery
any additions you like in stuffing: hazelnuts, almonds, dried cranberries, apples, etc
1 tsp poultry seasoning, sage, thyme, or whatever you'd like to add if using plain bread cubes
1-1.5 cups hot vegetable broth 

Cook the onion, garlic, and celery over medium heat in the margarine until soft. Pour over the bread cubes. Slowly add hot broth and stir until it's moist but not wet. Fold in any add-ins you like.

Soy Curls (if using them; you can also use Tofurky or seitan for this layer):
1 bag Butler's Soy Curls
2 cups hot not-chicken broth (I use Edward & Sons)
1 tsp vegan Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp salt
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp granulated garlic
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp dried rubbed sage
1/2 tsp smoked paprika

Hydrate the curls in a bowl with all the other ingredients for about ten minutes. Drain, and sear in a pan for a couple minutes until brown. Set aside.

Cranberries:
1 can whole berry cranberry sauce
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 pinch cardamom

Mix that up in a bowl.

Crust:
1/2 package Pepperidge Farm puff pastry (or your own homemade puff pastry; one sheet)
non-dairy milk for brushing.

To assemble:

Preheat oven to 375°
Spray a deep 9x9" casserole or a 13x9" roasting pan with cooking spray. If using a deep dish, you'll want to repeat the layers, so divide everything accordingly. 
Spoon about 1/2 cup or so of the gravy in the bottom. Add your stuffing layer, packing it down to make a firm base. Next is the cranberries. You can either blop it all over, or spread it out in an even layer. Next, make a layer of soy curls. Spread the mashed potatoes evenly over the whole thing with a rubber spatula. Spoon about a cup of the gravy over this. If you're deep-dishing, you should have saved half of everything. Repeat your layers. 

Roll out the puff pastry to fit your dish. Lay it over the top, and crimp the edges, or tuck it in. Brush with non-dairy milk. Make two slits in the top with a knife. Bake for 45 minutes, or until the crust is golden brown. Lest rest for ten minutes, and serve with extra gravy.

Soup for the sniffles

Today I recommended a pot of hot, spicy, garlicky soup for his nasty cold as I rang up his Airborne and NyQuil. "Lots of garlic, lots of heat. Your nose is going to run. Let it!" This is my go-to for when I'm feeling icky, or if I have a hankering for something full of garlic and don't plan on going on any dates for a while. I usually make it with the mock duck in the can, but this was pretty easy to do with the soy curls (I hydrated them in a hot water/lime juice/soy sauce/garlic marinade).

This is another one that could be a contender. Oh man. Decisions, decisions.


Green Curry Coconut Soup with Soy Curls

Woman full of binders

That's what I need to be. I'm trying to make dosas (a thin Indian crêpe made of rice), but they are super fall-aparty. By the time I got these two to hang together long enough to take a picture, I was so tired and hungry (and MoFoed OUT, but I'll get to that later), that I didn't bother to experiment with much else other than a little cornstarch. Should I get a sliver of time between now and Saturday, I'll research my options. I do like this little idea for Iron Chef...but my big worry is how time consuming it is. I have to work until 10pm Friday night, which doesn't leave me with a lot of time to get the things done that need to get done. Stupid job.

Anyway, with a variety of different fillings using the Soy Curls, this could definitely be a contender. They are so filling, though, which could be a hindrance if I'm relying on people not being able to resist seconds.

Dosas with mango chutney

Sweet & Salty

This one isn't going to make it into the finals as is, due to a rough morning. I got a call from my boss at 8:00am, and he said, "Go back to bed. The truck won't be here until 11." to which I replied, "Uh, I'm scheduled at 11." "Oh, well. Go back to bed." Sigh.

Since I was up, I decided to get MoFo out of the way and do a breakfasty thing. I'd been marinating the curls in a sweet and salty mixture all night, so I cooked it up with some onions, sweet potatoes, and apples. Future versions will use red onions, and have some cabbage and caraway seed. Oh, and some sort of creamy cider sauce.


Mock pork with apples and sweet potatoes

The latest contender.

I'm starting to feel really competitive. Like, bloodthirsty competitive. I actually contemplated not posting anything the rest of the week - not even pictures - because I don't want to give any indications about what I'm up to. How sad is that? I've won Iron Chef before, and I should be willing to deal with someone else getting the glory.

But dammit. I wanna win!

This is something I often make with the Gardein beefless tips. I figured, if I can make the curls taste like chicken, why can't I also make them taste beefy? I can do it with seitan and TVP. Soy Curls are really just whole grain TVP, anyway.


Soy Curl Stroganoff

Making this, I got all fancy with the ingredients, and should have just stuck to how I normally do it. Should I enter this on Saturday, I'll go back to the basics. Oh, and use the right kind of noodles.

Mini Kebabs

Not my first idea for what to do for Iron Chef, but it's the idea I'm running with tonight, because I have everything needed in the house.


Mini kebabs with tahini dipping sauce.

These were very good. The sauce was tangy and creamy at the same time. Serve with pita, sliced cucumber and tomato.

(Recipes for this week will be posted 10/21)

Iron Chef Week!

Saturday is our third Iron Chef competition at Animal Rights Coalition. I have participated in the first two (winning the first one!), and I plan to compete this time as well. Those of you in Minnesota should come; while they are full on competitors, we need people to come eat and donate, for that picks the winner!

The secret ingredient is: Butler's Soy Curls.

This week, I'll be trying a few of the ideas rolling around in my head, coming to a decision, and entering what I think is the best one in Saturday's competition. I won't be posting recipes (but still blogging with pictures!) until after Saturday's event. To warm up, I made a small pot of soup this morning.

This isn't Iron Chef-worthy, and really easy. Carrots, celery, onion, parsley, basil, Soy Curls, noodles, and broth.

Allez Cuisine!

Iron Chef Wayfare!

The awesome folks over at Wayfare Foods sponsored our most recent Iron Chef competition at Animal Rights Coalition. I lost my crown to my protegé, Kaylynn, who made a pretty rockin' chili with nacho cheese sauce. However; since this is my blog, this is all about my beer cheese soup recipe.

(We Can’t Say It’s) Beer Cheese Soup

(Makes about 8-10 servings)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp soy margarine
½ tsp salt
1 leek; washed, trimmed, chopped fine
1 large carrot, diced small
3 vegan chicken broth cubes, dissolved in 6-8 cups boiling water
½ cup all purpose flour
½ tsp dry mustard
½ tsp vegan Worcestershire sauce
12 oz. dark German beer
2 containers Wayfare Foods’s “We Can’t Say It’s Cheese” cheddar spread
Salt and white pepper to taste

In a large stock pot, melt the oil and margarine together. On low-medium heat, cook the leek and carrot with the salt until soft and caramelized, but not browned. Lower the heat if needed. In a large measuring cup, whisk the flour, mustard, and Worcestershire with 1 ½ cups of the broth. Use an immersion blender if the flour clumps up. Add to the pot along with the remaining broth. Whisk until well incorporated if you like chunks, but this is a good time to blend the soup with an immersion blender, or by batches in a regular blender. Add beer and cheese. Turn the heat on low and cook, stirring often until the cheese is melted and blended in. Taste for salt and white pepper. Serve with pumpernickel rye bread, and grilled vegan kielbasa.

I'm so not upset that I lost because the new vegan that picked me for the vegan mentor program took home the prize! Also, I have a ton of leftover German beer that I should probably not drink whilst blogging. Urp.

Last Iron Chef of MoFo IV: Cranberries

I was really quite proud of my cranberry sauce this year. It had vanilla and cardamom in it, and had a warmth to it that was very different from all my years using orange zest. Cardamom is up there with nutmeg as spices that bring back all kinds of memories. My mom used them interchangeably, and always made for delicious rice and bread puddings. I wanted to do something similar for Iron Chef, but not just sauce. I had just picked up another quart of Silk Nog, although I still had plenty from the last one. I also had a fresh nutmeg.



If you like sugar, and who doesn't, you'll love these.

Cranberry Walnut Nog Fudge
Makes 30-40 pieces
(thanks to cute and delicious for posting her Best Vegan Fudge recipe, so I had a starting point)

1 1/3 cups Silk Nog
2 cups sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
4 tbsp Earth Balance
2 tbsp light corn syrup
3/4 cup vegan white chocolate chips I use these dudes)
1 tsp rum extract (or vanilla if you have no rum)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 nutmeg + more for sprinkling

Melt the first six ingredients, stirring constantly, over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil, and heat, stirring occasionally until the mixture reaches 250° (if you don't have a candy thermometer, you can try the cold water test. You want it at the firm ball stage). Remove from heat, stir in the rum extract, and cool to 110° (about 15 minutes or so). Take a wooden spoon, and beat the fuck out of it for about ten minutes, or until it starts to not look so glossy. Beat in the cranberries, walnuts, and 1/2 tsp nutmeg.

Meanwhile, have ready a nonstick brownie pan that you have buttered with EB. OR, line it with foil and butter the inside.

Pour the hot fudge into the pan. Sprinkle with nutmeg like it's a big glass of delicious nog. Cover with foil and refrigerate for a couple hours. Eat, or wrap up as gifts.

Iron Chef! Battle Portobella Mushrooms and Chipotles

The more I heard about the ice this morning, the less I wanted to get up and go to the store. I was given until 5:00pm my time to do this, and I had to blog it as well as pack it up and head out to Turkey Free Thanksgiving. I got into the Vikings game (tick tock), fell asleep briefly (tick tick tick), and finally got up and slid down the street to the bus and picked up what I needed. My timing was perfect, because I ran into my friend Aaron in the checkout line! We're going to pig out on vegan yummies tonight.

Back to the dish. I have felt just...ugh...since last night. My body is rejecting all the crap from last week. I feel it is necessary to have a week of healthy foods. Namely, salads. Big salads, with a lot of stuff in it. I brainstormed while watching the Vikings lay an egg, and came up with an idea for a chipotle cream. The rest just fell into place. Then I saw red quinoa at the Wedge, and threw that in the basket.




Grilled Portobella Salad with Red Quinoa and Chipotle Cream

Marinade:
1/2 cup Bragg's
few shots of hot sauce
1 tbsp crushed garlic
couple glugs of olive oil
a little salt
One pound portobella mushrooms, washed, degilled, and sliced.

Mix up the marinade. Put the mushrooms in it. Let sit about a half hour.

Salad:
3/4 pound baby greens
1 cup cooked and cooled red quinoa
Grilled red onions, if you want.

Cilantro vinaigrette dressing:
Bunch cilantro
1/3 cup olive oil
3/4 cup champagne vinegar

Blend all ingredients. Salt and adjust to taste.

Heat your grill. If you're putting onions in it, grill those first. Salt while cooking, so they caramelize nicely. Remove with grabbers and set aside.
Grill your marinated mushrooms until brown on both sides.

Toss greens with quinoa and onions. Add other veggies if you want; grape tomatoes, corn, etc. Toss with the cilantro vinaigrette (do this close to serving time). Plate salads, and top each with a few slices of mushroom. Spoon on a little chipotle cream.

Chipotle cream:

1 cup Mimicreme unsweetened
1/2 small can of chipotles in adobo sauce (mostly chipotles)

Blend until smooth. Taste, salt.

Thanksgiving Calzones

I was going to make this as a pizza, but the more I thought about it, the image of a soggy crust piled high with Tofurkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy didn't really strike me as pretty food. So, I got out my little pastry press (which I quickly abandoned in favor of my own fingers*), and made little Thanksgiving dinners in a pocket. This also is my result for Iron Chef Battle: Carrots and Pumpkin. There's a little cooked carrot in there, some mashed potatoes, a couple slices of Tofurkey Oven Roasted Slices, and a dollop of cranberry sauce. On the side is my Pumpkin Gravy, which was a hit at last year's Thanksgiving.

The money shot.

I know what you're thinking. Where's the forking stuffing? Well, in this recipe, the stuffing is on the outside. I made a whole wheat pizza dough, and added to it sage, lots of black pepper, rosemary, a little celery seed, and some chopped mushrooms. I made this dough with a little extra flour in order to make it easier to roll out thin.







*That's what she said.

Iron Chef: Apples and Peanut Butter

This was almost too easy. Ingredients that already go great together, and it's Minnesota Week, and there's no better time than right now to buy a peck of Honeycrisp apples. The Honeycrisp, developed at the University of Minnesota, is the sweetest, crispest, and most mouthgasmic apple there is. It makes that Red Delicious mushball look like a cat turd. The ones I picked up tthe other day are by far the best I've tasted. It was like the sweetest champagne. If somebody ever makes cider from this stuff, sign me up.



Honeycrisp Apple Crisp

3 large Honeycrisp apples; cored and diced
juice of 1 lemon
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup whole wheat flour
1/3 cup old fashioned oats
1/3 cup natural chunky peanut butter
1 tbsp Earth Balance

Heat the oven to 375°.

Toss diced apples with lemon juice, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Set aside. In another bowl, combine the sugars, flour, and oats. Cut in the peanut butter. Oh, eff it, just get your hands in there and work it until you have some peanut buttery crumbiness. Grease a medium sized baking dish with the Earth Balance. Dump in the apple mixture. Cover with the peanut butter mixture, and spread it around evenly. Throw it in the oven for about 45 minutes, or until the apples are tender, and the top is golden brown. Cool to room temp, and serve with vanilla ice cream.

Battle: Stuffing

Iron Chef this week, like last week, is an actual prepared dish instead of ingredients (the challenge was sushi, but I stuck to the "rice and seaweed" directive). I was going to head out and get a pumpkin to roast, but was driven back inside due to the snow. It wasn't the fluffy-cuddle-up-in-a-blankie-drinking-cocoa snowfall. It was a miserable, wet, grey, melty snow. Just a little bit away from being a cold fall piss of rain. Screw that.

This is one of those meals that started off as one thing, and slowly evolved into another. After I'd already baked the sage bread, left it in an unheated oven all night to harden, made the veg stock, cooked the shallots and mushrooms, and scooped everything into a casserole dish, did I suddenly remember: It's stuffing. Not dressing. I was ready to dump some on a plate next to some seitan cutlets from Veganomicon, so I had to think fast. Oh, and it had to be pumpkin-y! Fork!

A couple of knife moves later, I came up with Seitan Cutlets with Pecan-Mushroom stuffing and Pumpkin Gravy.



I actually used my dining room table tonight for the first time. I am so deliciously full. I can't wait to make this for Thanksgiving! The gravy is your standard broth-olive oil-cornstarch gravy with pumpkin purée whisked in. Some salt and pepper, and it's fantastic. I am so eating this with mashed potatoes tomorrow.

It's not sushi.

Iron Chef this week: Rice and seaweed.



Rosewater Coconut Rice Pudding with Blueberry Glaze.

After all, it is dessert week. This turned out not so much a pudding, put more of a risotto. It was my first try, though. The agar really bound it up.

Make a shitload.

1 1/2 cups arborio rice, rinsed well.
1 can coconut milk
3 cups or more nondairy milk
1/2 cup sugar
2 Tbsp agar
1 tsp vanilla
3 Tbsp rosewater
1 cup coconut flakes

Stir the rice, coconut milk, sugar, and nondairy milk together over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil. Turn to verrry low heat and simmer, stirring for 20-30 minutes. You will have to add more liquid now and then. Once the rice is almost at the al dente stage you want, stir in all the other stuff. Stir until the rice is cooked. Move to a bowl, or molds, and cool on the counter for a half hour before fridging.

Blueberry Glaze
1 pint container of fresh blueberries, rinsed
2 cups water
1 cup sugar
1 tbsp agar
1/2 tsp almond extract

Dissolve sugar in water as it's coming to a boil. Reduce heat, add blueberries. Cook and stir for about 3 minutes. Stir in agar and extract. Remove from heat. Let it gel up, then spoon over pudding.

I dream of VeganMoFo

Last night I remembered that the Iron Chef Challenge was announced earlier that day. I checked it out, saw it was pears and nuts, and started thinking about things I could do. There was the obvious (muffins, salads), so I decided to stick with the whole reason I created this blog: real stick to your ribs vegan food that you could confidently bring to a church potluck and no one would have a clue that you hippiefied it. I summoned up my inner Paula Deen, did a little research (I'm still a little rusty with off the cuff baking), and came up with this little number. At 4:07am.

Asian Pear Streusel Cheesecake with Ginger and Almonds



Rich and sugary enough for the kids, and just weird enough to be hip.

1 8oz pkg tofutti cream cheese
12 oz firm silken tofu
2/3 c. sugar
1/4 c. fresh lemon juice
2 Tbsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp almond extract
1 vegan shortbread crust (I used a Keebler)
2 medium Asian pears, cored and sliced in thin half-moons.
1 tbsp sugar

Topping:
1/3 cup slivered or sliced almonds (I had slivered left over from yesterday)
1/4 c. brown sugar
1/4 c. crystallized ginger
1/3 c. all purpose flour
1/4 cup cold Earth Balance margarine
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350°.

In a food processor, combine the tofu, cheese, and sugar. Process until all the sugar is incorporated and not all grainy in there. It means lots of spoon licking, but the things we must do...
Whisk together the lemon juice, almond extract, and cornstarch. Dump it in the processor and blend it in. Once incorporated, dump the whole thing into your crust. Bake for 45 minutes. Remove from oven and set aside to cool down a little. A couple hours or so. Put a piece of foil over it so your BAD CATS don't paw at it.

Melt a blop of Earth Balance in a large frying pan. Toss the pear slices with the tbsp sugar. Cook the pears slowly, over a low flame until caramelized and golden. Remove from heat, and let cool (I did this step while the cheesecake was baking, so it would be cool to handle).

Preheat oven to 400°.

Make your topping. Put all that stuff in the food processor and process to crumbs. The ginger might take a couple more pulses to really break up, so don't worry about your topping being not crumby enough.

Arrange your cooled pear slices in a tight fan pattern around the top of the cake. Layer some more in the middle. It won't be all high and pointy once it's baked. Sprinkle the topping all over. Bake for 10 minutes. Remove from oven and cool on the counter, then in the fridge for a few hours.

By the way, I got impatient and had a piece, but it wasn't fully set up yet and the picture would have sucked, but ohmyfreakinggod it was so good. *patting self on the back*

Later...