Apple of my ennui

I am kind of over MoFo. I think next year, if I do it at all, I'll shoot for 20 days instead of all of them. I've only missed one day due to Iron Chef prep, and I almost skipped today because I feel like a WHOLE ASS and I wasn't in the mood to do anything. But, I did.


Apple Cinnamon Coffee Cake

So, does this mean this week's theme is apples? I guess so. I have four apples in my kitchen, so I suppose I need to get some more and figure out what to do. Oh, and I have a wheel of vegan brie drying, so I'll do something with that. I was going to do cheeses this week, but planned poorly, and a lot of those things take DAYS to make. Eff that.

This cake turned out too moist, and not very sweet. I have adjusted my measurements.
 
Apple Cinnamon Coffee Cake
 makes one 8" cake

1 stick margarine (1/2 cup)
2 flax eggs (1 tbsp+2 tbsp water=1 flax egg), beaten
1 1/2 cups brown sugar, divided
3/4 cup soy yogurt or vegan sour cream
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp almond extract
1 1/2 cups flour
3/4 cup old-fashioned oats
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and diced

Crumb topping:
1 tbsp margarine
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup flour

Preheat oven to 375°. Spray an 8" round or square cake pan with baking spray, or lightly grease with margarine.

Cream together the margarine, flax eggs, 1 cup of sugar, yogurt, and extracts. Sift in the dry ingredients. Mix until moistened. Fold in the apples. Spread half the batter in the pan. Sprinkle the other 1/2 cup brown sugar over it. Spread in the last of the batter, so the brown sugar is a layer. 

In a small bowl, combine the topping ingredients with your fingers to make crumbs. Spread over the top of the batter. Bake 45 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean, and the top feels firm.

 

Sweet & Salty

This one isn't going to make it into the finals as is, due to a rough morning. I got a call from my boss at 8:00am, and he said, "Go back to bed. The truck won't be here until 11." to which I replied, "Uh, I'm scheduled at 11." "Oh, well. Go back to bed." Sigh.

Since I was up, I decided to get MoFo out of the way and do a breakfasty thing. I'd been marinating the curls in a sweet and salty mixture all night, so I cooked it up with some onions, sweet potatoes, and apples. Future versions will use red onions, and have some cabbage and caraway seed. Oh, and some sort of creamy cider sauce.


Mock pork with apples and sweet potatoes

Quick and easy breakfast? Don't mind if I do!

I made a huge crockpot of Hoppin' John for my ungrateful coworkers last week, and realized last night that I had a good amount of collards left over. I hate that I always buy more greens than I need and avoid using them due to the mistaken belief that it's too much work. In fact. washing, rolling, and shredding with a knife before quickly sautéing is a lot quicker than waiting for water to boil (and then waiting for said water to cook pasta).

That said, I made a very quick and easy plate of sausage (Gimme Lean; also leftovers) and sautéed greens with mushrooms and cayenne for breakfast. I ended up making a sandwich out of it with those Bagel Thins. Quick, packed with protein, iron, and calcium for a Monday, and delicious.



Easy as Hell Sausages and Greens
Serves 1 or 2

1 tsp olive oil
5 or 6 crimini mushrooms, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 package of Gimme Lean sausage
dash smoked salt
dash cayenne pepper or hot sauce (Frank's Red Hot; and I sure do put that shit on everything)
3 large collard leaves (cut away the tough stem), rolled and sliced into shreds
juice of 1/2 lemon

Cook the mushrooms, garlic, and sausage in oil. Stir and scrape often. When browned, add greens and a little water. Cook until wilted. Add lemon juice and stir around until evaporated. Serve with toast, rice, or quinoa.

Hey, I said I was going to post more. These aren't all going to be big productions.

Velkommen!

Photo credit: Star Tribune

King Harald and Queen Sonja of Norway are in town this week. I had planned to make something different this morning, but when I heard this was their last day in town, I figured I should give the Motherland some props and do up some lefse.

Of course, "motherland" would be a misnomer for me, since my mother is English and Irish, and my grandpa was the Norwegian ingredient, but my Grandma Ruth was one hell of a lefse factory, despite being German.


Here she is with my dad. AWWW!

I wish I'd spent more of my childhood learning kitchen tricks from my grandma. By the time I'd wrestled much alone time with her, she'd already gone through my numerous cousins and was becoming a "back of the box" chef. I remember telling her how much I looooved her pineapple upside-down cake, only to have her tell me that it was actually Barbara Mandrell's recipe, and she got it off the back of a box of cake mix.



But there was one thing she did from scratch that I looked forward to every year. Lefse. Perfectly thin, perfectly cooked, and delicious with butter and sugar. I knew there was no way I could make my lefse as perfect without years of experience, but I will tell you, it tastes even better with Earth Balance and organic raw sugar sprinkled on it.

This recipe makes a pretty good pile of lefse, but if you want to bring a ton to a family party, I'd double or triple it.

Vegan Norwegian Lefse
Makes about a dozen pancake-sized lefse

4 lbs potatoes, peeled and quartered
4 Tbsp margarine
2 1/2 Tbsp soy creamer or plain soymilk
1 1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 tsp sugar
1 cup all purpose flour, plus more for sprinkling

Cover potatoes in cold water and cook until fork-tender. Push through a ricer, or mash gently with one of these. A regular masher can make the potatoes too gummy. Mix in the margarine, creamer, salt, and sugar. Refrigerate until room temperature. Once cooled, add flour and mix in with your hands (wash them, you dirty punk!). Tear off a golf ball-sized chunk, and roll it into a soft ball in floured hands. On a floured surface, with a floured rolling pin, roll that sucker out as flat as you can (feel free to take bits out of the dough bowl for spackling any tears). Cook lefse on a HOT cast iron griddle or crepe pan for like, 15-25 seconds or until it's lightly browned. You'll get the hang of it. Turn, cook an additional 10 seconds (really), and move to a plate. Keep the stack warm with a towel until you're finished.

Lefse can be served rolled up with vegetables, Tofutti cream cheese, or whatever you like. I still prefer them the traditional way: buttery and sweet.

Naughty and nice.

You know who's naughty? This guy.


Bowie, doing yoga.

I have never yelled, "Get offa there!" so many times in a week. I've had to close off the bathroom for the first time since he was a kitty for a) stuffing the bathmat under the tub, b) unraveling a whole roll of toilet paper, and c) knocking a teacup off the counter and breaking it. He has taken to chasing invisible prey across my bed in the middle of the night when I have to work at 6:45am the next day, he's scratched up the inside of the doorway from the hallway to the living room, he's knocked over every trashcan in the house looking for God knows what...I'm just about at the end of my rope. Anyone want a slightly used, slightly feral, adorable tabby? Your only requirement is returning to your bed after your shower for belly-rubbing time. His belly. But he gives a good backrub if you let him sit on the back of your office chair. Ahhh...sigh.

BUT, you know what's nice? These:


Gingerbread donuts with candy cane sprinkles

I need to work on these. I was not perfectly satisfied with how these turned out, and wonder if a gluten-free dough would work better (the dough for these was very elastic and hard to shape). I'm going to try another batch sometime after MoFo and edit this entry to include a recipe. People I shared them with liked them, but I wanted a nice cakey donut, and these came out sort of quick-bread-y. Too moist, or something. I think it's the pumpkin. I veganized this recipe, and need to figure out how to make them more gingerbread-y. It didn't seem like enough molasses. I will say they were damn tasty with coffee.

Zombie Jesus Brunch

My favorite part about Easter every year as a child (aside from the new stuffed bunny and basket of candy) was the brunch buffet we hit every year. Fruit, pancakes, waffles, and all the various animal parts and secretions. I still love brunch, and often make a big production when I get a weekend day off. Since I had to work today, I made brunch for dinner. That's right! Brinner, y'all.



Tofu omelet (I used chickpeas instead of chickpea flour because I hate the way that shit tastes) with asparagus, Daiya, and ham, multigrain waffles with berries, bagels with Tofutti cream cheese, and a mimosa (which I drank while trying to take pictures).

And much like when I was a kid, going up for foursies at the buffet, I'm totally stuffed. I wish there were fancy vegan brunch buffets in every fancy hotel.

Check out these puppies.

So, the Tour of America menu at Denny's is the whole reason behind wanting to do a chain restaurant week for MoFo this year. But then, Denny's rolled out the "Let's Get Cheesy" menu, and I was sure I'd be rolling up my sleeves for a Daiya-stravaganza. Instead, I thought it would be fun to get a bag of Oppenheimer's white chocolate chips and make the Strawberry White Chocolate Pancake Puppies. Except of course, my local purveyor of vegan white chocolate chips was sold out, and it would cost a me an extra $7 to get them shipped. The day I spend $12 on a bag of fucking white chocolate chips is the day I win the friggin' lottery, and in that case, I would order a TON of shit online, and wouldn't care that I'd normally have to grab my ankles for shipping costs.

So, I made do with dark chocolate chips, and a swirl of raspberry preserves.


Here they are, nestled in my ugly cupcake carrier.

I drizzled (okay, doused) these guys in cream cheese icing after cooling off from being deep fried. I had two. My coworkers ate the rest. I am way too hard on myself, and apologized for how "brown" they turned out, but they got awesome reviews. They're very easily made using pancake batter thickened with some cornstarch, and dropped into a deep fryer, which I don't have. My stove is kind of a mess.

Yesterday, Wayfare Foods caught wind of my post about the Chicken Enchilada Soup. The marketing director made it, and they are sending me a coupon to give away to one of my readers! Yeah! If you live in the US, and have a place where you can pick up "We Can't Say It's Cheese" or any other Wayfare product, please leave a comment below. I'll choose one at random, and it's all yours! Just tell me in your comment what you're going to make with it. Thanks!

Back from computer limbo.

I'm actually still kind of in it, since the machine I'm working on now is just a temporary one on loan from the guy who has my Dell. A number of things happened in the span of a few weeks: First, my big fancy computer had a small fire and quite dramatically gave up the ghost. I was sitting right here, plugged in my cell phone to charge (this was in the Samsung Behold II days; that phone eats chargers and I was once again relegated to using the USB cord), and I suddenly smelled electrical burning and then *poof*, my computer just blinked off. I set up my old Dell, which isn't big and fancy, but it works (albeit a tad loudly), and gave the dead one to a friend to look at. Sure enough, burned a hole right through the motherboard and took out the memory and processor with it.

Then the Dell woke up one morning with a bad case of Blue Screen of Death.

So, while Matt is trying to recover what I had on it (namely brand new downloads of the Dessa and Adele albums), I will post all the foodie things I've been up to while suffering computer withdrawals.

Filed under "Totally Awesome," I'm testing for Alicia Simpson. Today I finally got some stuff and made her zucchini fritters. No, you can't have the recipe, but you can have a picture.



Last Easter Sunday was the Worldwide Vegan Bake Sale. I posted a gazillion pictures on Facebook, but here are a few of the things I brought:



Hannah Kaminsky's Root Beer Float cupcakes from My Sweet Vegan, Isa's Lemon Gem Cupcakes (made to look like little aquariums), and my own orange creamsicle cupcakes.



I think the aquarium ones went a little slower despite the cheap price due to 1. Hello? Blue food. And 2. I had to bring everything in a crazy old lady cart and when said cart fell off the bus, these guys got the worst of it. Note for future bake sales: bring extra frosting for spackling. Anyway, they had Fruit Pebbles in the bottom, so it looked like aquarium gravel! Super cute.

I was asked if I would give up the recipe for the orange cupcakes. Here you go:

Orange Creamsicle Cupcakes
Makes 12-14

1 1/3 cups all purpose flour
2 Tbsp cornstarch
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup orange juice
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
1 stick vegan margarine
1 cup sugar
1 tsp orange extract
1 1/2 tsp bourbon vanilla extract (Trader Joe's has this)

Muffin pan, cupcake liners. 350° oven. You know the drill.

Sift together in a medium bowl all the dry ingredients. In a mixer, beat the margarine and sugar until soft and creamy and not melty. Quickly add the OJ, vinegar, and extracts. Beat until blended. Add dry mixture, and mix until moistened but don't overmix. Fill muffin cups 3/4 full. If you go over (I did), either eat it raw or make additional ones in another pan. Be sure to fill any empty spaces in your muffin pan with water so your cuppers bake evenly.

Cool in pan for ten minutes, move to rack to cool completely. Frost with your favorite vegan buttercream frosting, but make it extra vanilla-y. Lazy vegans: Pillsbury Buttercream Frosting may be vegan. I am waiting for them to return my email about where the mono- and diglycerides are sourced. In the meantime, just whip up some Earth Balance with powdered sugar and vanilla. Frost. Decorate with candy orange slices and popsicle sticks.

Christmas 2009, my job clearanced out a bunch of crappy little appliances to 90% off, and I scored an omelet maker for $1. This thing makes bitchen vegan omelets. You can use the recipe in Vegan Brunch, or just experiment like I did with lite silken tofu, cornstarch, besan flour, kala namak (black salt) turmeric, and whatever else you like. I have found that my perfect omelet has fresh spinach blended in, mushrooms, green onions, and Daiya cheddar.



Here's one with some sweet potato frites (that got a little...brown...in the oven).



This is something I threw together because I love Ethiopian food, and had all this stuff in the house. Also, everything came from the corner store a block away! Those "vegan-meal-from-convenience-store-ingredients" challenges would be unfair if I participated. Anyway, It's a bag of yellow split peas (soaked, drained, rinsed)slow cooked all day on low with about six cups of water. Then add onion, green pepper, lots of grated fresh ginger, salt, cumin, turmeric, crushed dried red pepper, chopped carrots, a small chopped up head of cabbage, two minced cloves of garlic, and a bay leaf. Slow cook another hour or so, or until you can't stand it anymore and have to eat. No rules, no measuring. Just put in the stuff you like.



Now, filed under "Stunt Food," but not nearly as awful for you as say, a Luther or a Cherpumple...Lasagna Cupcakes!



Now, if you've made it through all that, I just want to remind everyone to subscribe to Midwest Vegan Radio on iTunes. Like it on Facebook. Bring it up on your pages, blogs, and in awkward silences in work meetings. Become a mentor, or, if you're a new vegan, find out more about getting a mentor!

Okay, kids. Hoping that isn't all for a while. I'm still testing, baking, and got a lot of irons in my vegan fire right now. I've also got a Big Birthday coming up, a possible trip...and all the while, trying to drop some weight. Look forward to some lowfat recipes!

Coffee cake for Kelsey

A coworker of mine picked today's recipe. The original version is in the current Taste of Home magazine, and can be found here. It says you have to log in to view it, but you can still read it.



I'm meeting my dad today for an early lunch, so I wanted to get this done right away, since I won't have time tonight. I used pecans and vegan white chocolate chips. I also used plain all-purpose flour.





It turned out very gooey, and very sweet. If I make this again, I'll cut down on the sugar, and make it up with more of the dry ingredients. I used flax eggs in the Vitamix, which worked great. Not sure about the chocolate chips. I'd probably do it again and use the walnuts and semi-sweet that it originally called for.

But it makes a damn fine picture!

Happy World Vegan Day!

Oh, and Happy Vegan Month of Food! Day one!


I came home today after a long weekend with friends in Chicago. I'm pretty jealous because a) Chicago has way more vegan choices for restaurants, and b) the tap water is drinkable. I'm also in love with Ellie and Tim's beautiful house and pantry. A pantry! I now have a new prerequisite for future apartments.

Ellie picked me up at the airport on Friday, and we went straight to Demera. We have a tradition with Ethiopian Diamond, but this is a new place that deserved our gusto for all things served on injera. The tikle gomen was amazing. The ye-misir wot: heavenly. We destroyed our lunch before I had a chance to take a picture of it in it's whole form, so here's the damage:



Afterward, we hit the Asian market and Whole Foods. Once loaded up with provisions, we planned out the food and timing for the Haunted Housewarming. We caught a sliver of a show at The Empty Bottle, and headed home. Saturday was going to be busy as hell, so I insisted on brunch the next morning. We went to Lula Cafe in Logan Square. It got all kinds of raves on Yelp for it's vegan-ness, but I was stuck with one menu item. Tofu Scramble, which I wanted anyway. What didn't do it for me was the cubed tofu (I like my scramble scrambled), the goddamned cantaloupe in the fruit dish, and that stuff there on the right? Not Earth Balance.



The Gimme Lean sausage patties and the coffee were good, and it fueled us for our day in the kitchen.

I truly suck at life because Ellie and I made a TON of sushi, and I got no pictures of it. Two platters each of nori rolls and inari parcels. I made three batches of rice; one that was made pink with beets, one that was yellow with shiitake mushrooms and green onions, and one that was red with raw beet, carrot, and spinach. We rolled cucumber, bell peppers, green onion, and avocado. The inari pouches (plain fried, turmeric yellow, and spicy red) were stuffed with ginger and the different kinds of rice. I guess they were a hit, because they were inhaled.

Ellie whipped up a batch of my Mediterranean Red Lentil Iron Chef Soup:



And I finished making the cupcakes as people started to arrive. They are gluten free, chocolate with peanut butter caramel filling, and chocolate ganache. This picture sucks.



The weird holes on top are from filling them by hand. Chunky peanut butter + Wilton pastry bag = peanut butter caramel explosion. Which doesn't sound that bad, but it is when you have guests storming the kitchen.

Now, as for Mofo...I have been contemplating several themes. Magazine recipes veganized, candy week, squash week...but am looking for more. Tomorrow will be a late night post, I'm sure.

Minnesota State Muffin?

No idea we had one, or that any state did, but here ya go. Blueberry. This recipe turned out very blue due to using frozen/thawed instead of fresh berries. I also used about 3 tablespoons of ground candied ginger. I'm not even going to offer one to my boss because he thought the lavender cupcakes "reminded him of old ladies." Lord knows what ginger blueberry muffins might do.



This is another one that I plan to play with and improve on. It didn't seem sweet enough, and it could stand to lose about five minutes off the baking time. They are still good, and certainly hit the spot on a Saturday morning with a cup of joe before going in to work. Ugh. I need a real job.

There is no blue food

I was glad to find a blue dish in this house, since the "blue" food I made is actually not blue at all.

I finally whipped out the Pancake Puff maker (also known as an aebleskiver), and experimented a little. I only had two large blue potatoes, so I decided to do a trial run with some sweet potato. Turned out good, and figured out the perfect flame to cook them without making a big black puff. So then I make a blue potato pancake batter. Still blue. I drop the batter into the pan, and...green?



See how it's blue, but once it starts to cook, it turns a teal color? God dammit.



Then I pour on the wild blueberry sauce, which has turned a rich merlot color. Sigh.



So, it's true. Blue food does not exist.

Good morning, sunshine!

I woke up to the sound of Mischka chattering at the window. Expecting to see a bird out there, I noticed that it was snowing. Great, big clumps of the stuff. Not the mere dusting we got on Saturday.

I am totally unprepared. I need boots. I need a new winter coat. I need a hat, fer chrissakes. Where is all the stuff from last year, you ask? Either ill-fitting, ugly, or not particularly vegan as I try to replace all my pre-gan stuff. I found two mismatched mittens. I don't have time to run to Target before work, but I totally had time to make a batch of warm muffins. Gingery Carrot Orange Muffins, actually.



These turned out good, but not as orange-y or gingery as I'd like. I'll try them again with zest of two oranges, and either fresh or crystallized ginger. Powder didn't do this justice.



But they are still tasty, and I'll give some to my neighbor and the unappreciative losers I work with. I definitely need more vegan friends.

How I scram.

I woke up this morning and upon entering the bathroom, I noticed that the waterline was a wee higher than usual. I flushed, and that's when I quickly realized that there was a problem. After calling the property manager's emergency pager, bailing out the water and um...stuff...I spent the morning keeping the cats out of the bathroom, checking to make sure the water was shut off, and fighting the urge to purge. Once the guy came to fix it (and he was happy to, as he gets time and a half today)and I finished bleaching and sandblasting the toilet area with Comet, I looked at the clock. Less than one hour until game time.

A while back (during MoFo, I believe), some bloggers were sharing their tofu scramble secrets. I never got around to it, since I was trying NEW things. You know, like taking pictures of my refrigerator.

Anyhoo, here's how I do it. Sauté some chopped mushrooms and a little onion in olive oil. Crumble in some extra firm tofu. Add minced garlic, dried thyme, a little Kala Namak (if you're into an eggy taste), whatever other seasonings you like (the Southwest Seasoning from Penzey's is awesome), and some nooch.* Add a little water and cook for a few minutes. Stir in some fresh chard. I like the Chard of Many Colors from Trader Joe's, because it's so pretty. Add the juice of half a lemon (or one small one), and stir until the scramble is cooked and the chard is wilted. Sprinkle with toasted sunflower seeds.

You are now ready for kickoff.



* I don't measure this stuff. Just use as much as you deem necessary. Just remember to add a little water if you like a lotta nooch in your scram.

Time to make the donuts.

PUMPKIN WEEK!



This may be one of my proudest moments. Up there with the pear cheesecake from earlier this month. You gotta love the Donut Express. I got mine minus the filled donut pan and filling injector at a thrift store for $1. But donut pans should be easy to come by, Donut Express or not.

Pumpkin Donuts with Apricot Glaze
Makes 18 regular size, or 36 mini donuts

2 cups flour
2 Tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 cup sugar
1 cup creamy soy milk, or half soy milk/half soy creamer
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
1 tsp vanilla
1 Tbsp shortening
2/3 cup pumpkin purée

Apricot Glaze:
3 Tbsp apricot preserves
1 Tbsp oil
1 tsp agar
2 Tbsp water

Preheat oven to 400°. Spray your donut pans with canola spray and wipe them. Add the vinegar to the milk and set aside to curdle. Sift together the flour, baking powder, spice, and salt. In a separate bowl, mix the sugar, vanilla, shortening, and pumpkin with a fork until smooth-ish. Stir in the milk mixture. Add to the dry ingredients and mix well (a stand mixer comes in handy here). Scoop batter into donut cups, filling halfway. Bake at 400° for 10 minutes.

Make the glaze: In a small saucepan, heat the preserves, oil, and water. Stir with a wisk until melty and syrupy. Toss in the agar, stir in, and remove from heat. Let sit a couple minutes, and then spoon over cooled donuts.

The mini donuts were sprayed with a little soy milk and rolled in cinnamon-sugar.

I gave them out to my neighbors who were awake or in the halls this morning. Even the diaper tossers in #8.

Happy MoFo!

I've been eagerly awaiting as well as dreading this month. Some things have recently come to light that may consume a lot of my time. BUT, I shall keep my promise and stick to it.

I am coming to you from my bedroom today, with an empty stomach and a freshly cleaned kitchen. I thought I would try something from a cookbook I haven't cracked open yet. Seeing as I built my cookbook collection while still working in the book biz, I have a lot. I could easily use a different cookbook every week, and make at least three things from each. I think that's a reasonable expectation.

My choice for the first week of MoFo is Tofu 1-2-3 by Maribeth Abrams.



I made the Pumpkin Pancakes, which is actually the first recipe in the book. I added walnuts and a little sugar to the batter, and they came out perfectly. I didn't have any maple syrup, so I made a weird Tofutti cream cheese-soygurt-powdered sugar-vanilla sauce,

and then topped the whole thing with berries. I have a ton of leftover batter, so I'll make up more cakes and freeze them. One thing I always forget about pancakes is that I am good for one, and then I am stuffed.