Chocolate & Cheese

Sometime in September, after I found out that Mofo was October this year, I started to plan out my themes. I seriously considered a week of cheesecakes. I'll probably do it at a future date, but I think I scrapped it this year because I knew that I was going to have to buy new jeans after Chain Restaurant Week, and eating the equivalent of a truckload of Tofutti wasn't going to help matters. Next year, I'll do some healthier stuff and top it off with Cheesecake Week, 'kay?

I actually made this for a party tonight, but it was postponed. I'm sort of glad, because the huge party became a small dinner party, and I got to go home with leftovers. Yayah! I am very happy with how this turned out, and after watching Paranormal Activity tonight, I'm fairly sure the demon has moved from my kitchen to my camera. This was the best picture I took, and look how I cut it off on the top there. Fucking amateur.



Chocolate Cherry Cheesecake
6-8 servings

1 chocolate cookie crust (I used Keebler--it's vegan!)
1 8-oz pkg Tofutti cream cheese
1 asceptic box extra firm silken tofu
2/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
2 tbsp cornstarch
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 tsp almond extract
1 can cherry pie filling
Whipped topping, chocolate shavings if desired

Preheat oven to 350°. Place crust (keep in the tin) on a cookie sheet.

In a food processor, blend together the cheese, tofu, sugar, cocoa, cornstarch, lemon juice, and almond extract. Scrape the sides with a rubber spatula and blend again. Pour into crust. Bake at 350° for 45 minutes. You don't have to use a waterbath, since you'll be covering up any cracks with the cherries. Once baked, cool the cake to room temperature, and then chill, covered, for at least an hour. Spread cherry pie filling over the cake. Chill until time to serve. Excellent with whipped topping of choice (we used Soyatoo, but chilled whipped coconut cream would be good, too), and chocolate shavings if you wanna be fancy.

Can't gain weight? Read on:

Is everyone aware that Megan Fox recently gave up veganism because she "couldn't gain weight?" Yeah. I had this reaction. Anyway, I have four words for Megan Fox: Mint Oreo Fudge Cremes. See, mint Oreos were already awesome, and vegan, and then they went and covered those fuckers in chocolate. Are you kidding me? These things are like Thin Mints, only BETTER. I always pick them up when I go to Target and feel like a pathetic junkie on the bus as I rip the package open.

Here's another nice surprise: Jell-O cook and serve pudding? Vegan. I shit you negative. It appears that the instant puddings are as well, but the cooking-required ones actually set using non-dairy milk. Now, I highly recommend using almond milk, because soy just doesn't set right, and it tastes funny. But the one thing about this find that's extra awesome? It makes bitchin' vegan ice cream.

So, I made up a batch of chocolate pudding this morning (using Silk Pure Almond vanilla-but the dark chocolate makes an even richer pudding), put plastic wrap over IT (to eliminate the skin on top) and refrigerated it. When I got home, I dumped it in the ice cream maker with 20 or so smashed up mint Oreo Fudge Cremes, and a teaspoon of peppermint extract to make it extra minty.



Flavor: check. Texture and mouthfeel (I hate that word): check. Weight gainable? Oh, check. Come to mama.

Here comes trouble.

This week might do me in, weight-wise. I have a serious weakness for sugar, and in fact, it's the downfall for me whenever I try any kind of "diet" or weight loss regimen. As soon as I start to do great, look good, feel confident...I stifle it all with a half gallon of So Delicious Dulce de Leche. I'll admit again, that if good vegan ice cream didn't exist, I couldn't have kept this shit up for six years.

This week I was going to tackle candymaking. I went out and got a bunch of chocolate and corn syrup, and then don'tcha know, someone else did it last week. I learned that I have a massive ego and don't want anyone to think I'm copying, and (as you all know from my bleeding all over the blog yesterday) I learned that I should just focus on things this week that I can do somewhat blindfolded. Well, except for Saturday's recipe, which I'm very worried about.

This one I pulled out of my ass during the Vikings game, because, if you saw that piece of shit, you'd be distracted, too. The batter came out very mousse-y, and it leavened like a sumbitch. The frosting is cream cheese frosting, mixed with melted chocolate, and poured all over the cake. Sweet Lord. Serve this warm with (what else) your favorite ice cream.


My cream cheese frosting heart started to melt.

Pumpkin Sour Cream Chocolate Cake
Makes one 9" round cake

Wet Ingredients

1/4 cup chocolate chips, melted
2/3 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup vegan sour cream
1/4 cup almond milk (or other non-dairy milk)


Dry Ingredients

1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 3/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
pinch salt
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Preheat oven to 350°. Spray a 9" round cake pan (8x8 square) with baking spray.

Whisk together the wet ingredients. Work quickly, because the chocolate will start to harden when it hits the other liquids, so try to mix it up as best you can. In a separate bowl, blend the dry ingredients well with a whisk or spoon. Gradually add the dry to the wet, and mix. The batter will be fluffy and mousse-like. Spread in your pan with a rubber spatula. Bake for 30-35 minutes (do the toothpick test). Cool for 10 minutes, and make frosting.

Frosting:

1/2 can Duncan Hines Cream Cheese Frosting (it's vegan!)
1/2 cup chocolate chips

Microwave for one minute, then stir until blended. Pour over cake.


I'm glad that the only bad thing about this cake is that I took awful pictures of it. I was in too big a hurry to inhale it.

If any of you are poo-pooing the idea of store bought frosting or using cake mixes, then this week may not be for you. I haven't had many run-ins with the vegan police, but I do know that Lindsay over at Happy Herbivore recently renounced the "vegan" title because people were questioning where her sugar was sourced, etc. I do know that she also uses honey, which is a whole 'nother can o' pectin gummy worms, but as for the sugar thing and the questionable ingredients on cake mix labels, I have this to say: If I make something from scratch that I serve to other vegans, I use organic sugar. I don't make shortcuts. When I'm making something for me and the thankless bastards I work with, or my vegan friends who feel similarly, I'll cut corners and use "accidentally vegan" store items. So far, the only people who have nitpicked me about such things have been non-vegans, who seem to think there is a purity rule. The way I see it is, when it comes to things like sugar that may or may not have been processed in bone char, when the day comes that there are no animals being used, then there won't be by-products. There is no purity test. But if you really do stress out about these things, I will post ingredients lists for you.

Boo!

Yeah, not much scary about these cookies. However; I do think it was cute that while I was mixing in the chips and nuts, this song came on the radio: I used this recipe, but added chocolate chips and chopped pecans to it. They didn't spread very well, and kind of came out the same shape as when I dropped them. Lesson learned for subsequent batches. I wonder if oil would work better than margarine? If I can improve on these (I'm already thinking that oats are needed), I'll bring them to all the parties I'm invited to this year. :>/ Upon cooling, these are delightfully chewy and go GREAT with coffee.

Check out these puppies.

So, the Tour of America menu at Denny's is the whole reason behind wanting to do a chain restaurant week for MoFo this year. But then, Denny's rolled out the "Let's Get Cheesy" menu, and I was sure I'd be rolling up my sleeves for a Daiya-stravaganza. Instead, I thought it would be fun to get a bag of Oppenheimer's white chocolate chips and make the Strawberry White Chocolate Pancake Puppies. Except of course, my local purveyor of vegan white chocolate chips was sold out, and it would cost a me an extra $7 to get them shipped. The day I spend $12 on a bag of fucking white chocolate chips is the day I win the friggin' lottery, and in that case, I would order a TON of shit online, and wouldn't care that I'd normally have to grab my ankles for shipping costs.

So, I made do with dark chocolate chips, and a swirl of raspberry preserves.


Here they are, nestled in my ugly cupcake carrier.

I drizzled (okay, doused) these guys in cream cheese icing after cooling off from being deep fried. I had two. My coworkers ate the rest. I am way too hard on myself, and apologized for how "brown" they turned out, but they got awesome reviews. They're very easily made using pancake batter thickened with some cornstarch, and dropped into a deep fryer, which I don't have. My stove is kind of a mess.

Yesterday, Wayfare Foods caught wind of my post about the Chicken Enchilada Soup. The marketing director made it, and they are sending me a coupon to give away to one of my readers! Yeah! If you live in the US, and have a place where you can pick up "We Can't Say It's Cheese" or any other Wayfare product, please leave a comment below. I'll choose one at random, and it's all yours! Just tell me in your comment what you're going to make with it. Thanks!

Another birthday? So soon?

Yep. 38. Here's the cake.





Raspberry Filled Bundt Cake

1 1/3 cups sugar
1/2 cup Earth Balance or shortening
2 cups vanilla soy milk
3 cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp almond extract
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup raspberry jam

Beat sugar and margarine until fluffy.
In a separate bowl, sift the flour, baking powder, and salt. Pour one cup of soy milk into the bowl with the marg/sugar mixture and stir. Scoop half of the flour mixture into the bowl and stir. Repeat last two steps.

Pour batter into a bundt pan prepared with cooking spray. Drop spoonfuls of jam into the batter to make a ring. Fold some of the batter over it, but don't mix it in.

Bake at 350° for 40 minutes. Let cool completely before inverting. Drizzle with thawed raspberries and chocolate ganache.

I am a sucky tester.

I'm not sure why I keep signing up for testing stuff, because the moon, my time, my kitchen, and my money never line up. I could be sitting on the couch with my thumb up my ass, but I have nothing in the cupboards and nothing in the bank. When I do have money, I'm out running around. Also, Isa has a knack for posting a freaking deeelicious looking recipe just as I walk in the door with my allotted groceries for two weeks. She is aware of this phenomenon with me. Nevertheless, I need to get my testing butt in gear.

As I was getting ready to watch the Vikings get stuffed by the Eagles, I remembered that I have everything needed for Chocolate Crinkle Cookies (didja know there was a cookie book coming? Eh?). Even black cocoa, which I ordered from some Amish store on eBay (really!) for the Fauxstess cupcakes I never got around to making. Plus, I had exactly the amount of chocolate chips* needed for the recipe.



These are AMAZING. I love super chewy chocolatey things, like Tootsie Rolls. These totally satisfied my craving. They are a bit sweet, but not enough to cause a headache. Pretty fast and so easy. This is going to be a great book!

* The jury is in. Guittard are my favorite chocolate chips to bake with, as well as snack on. For only $3.59 at Target, they are a bargain compared to most of the others.