Monday, October 8, 2012

Crisis averted!

Somewhere in the black hole that is my kitchen, there is a paddle attachment for my ice cream maker. I see it all the time, acknowledge its existence, and move on to other things. Of course, when I need it, I can't remember the oh-so-clever place that I stored it. It would make too much sense to store it with, I don't know...the rest of the attachments for that machine, or maybe in the drawer full of Cuisinart blades, stand mixer hooks and whisks, bread machine paddles, and sushi mats? NOOOO. I put it somewhere that I would see it every day. Only I don't. So, when I got home at 10:30 tonight to make ice cream, I had a small panic attack as I turn my kitchen upside down trying to find the damn thing. Ah, but I found the Robo-Stir, which I wouldn't have purchased if it wasn't 75% off, and now I know why. It doesn't do anything like the commercial. It sits in the bowl, and it vibrates. That's it. 

So, I used a gadget I could find. My fucking arm. 

Vanilla Ice Cream w/ Bourbon Caramel

It's not 100% frozen solid like it would be close to had I used the right attachment, but I was getting tired. For the record, it's Jell-O vanilla cook & serve pudding made with almond milk, chilled, and then ice creamed. Some twat on Facebook tried to tell me that thickeners weren't needed when making ice cream because "freezing it thickens it." In a polite way, I told her to eat a bag of dicks with her boring ass ice cream; the rest of us were going to make it from pudding, and enjoy delicious, rich, creamy ice cream that has a mouthfeel more like cream and less like...well, ice. So there you go.

Vanilla Ice Cream with Bourbon Caramel Sauce
serves 6

1 4.6 oz box Jell-O vanilla Cook & Serve pudding (it's vegan!)
3 cups vanilla almond milk (soy just doesn't set right)
1 tsp bourbon vanilla extract (Trader Joe's)

Prepare as directed on the box, only add the extract. Chill in the fridge until cold and set. Make it into ice cream in your ice cream maker THAT HAS A PADDLE.

Caramel Sauce

1 cup brown sugar
2 tbsp water
2 tbsp margarine
1 cup cashew cream, coconut cream, or soy creamer
1 tsp bourbon vanilla extract

In a heavy saucepan, combine sugar, water, and margarine. Bring to a boil, and reduce heat. Stir and cook for about 5 minutes (it'll bubble a lot). Very carefully, add the cream and vanilla in a slow stream and stir stir stir. Cook for another couple minutes. Remove from heat, cool for a few minutes. Serve over ice cream.

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